November 6, 2008

Ricky Ponting, what a dick !

Jason Kreiza has taken 3 wickets, and Ponting has a lot of poo on his

In fact, Mr. Jazzy Krazzy took 2 wickets in the first session of the
first day of the Test. That's how many Stuey McCluey managed in 2 test
matches and 73 grand overs of boring stump to stump variety. Yet it is
Shiny McCluey who's been the "Star Performer." Ponting's selection
policy has displayed a distinct deficiency of ballsiness.

Sure JK Balding went for runs, but then runs are inversely proportional to
the wickets you take and that has been Ponting's toothache all tour. His
wheelers simply haven't been able to beat the Indian blade. Every one of
his charges has bled runs. Which happens in the dustbowl that is India.
New ball doesn't swing and spin comes slowly off the track. Runs WILL be
scored in India, defensive fields or not, new age cricket or not, Shane
Warne on field or not.

So, what do you try to do, O Visiting Captain ? You frikkin try to take

And who will get me those wickets ? Kraezzer Blazer - who turns it a

Not Stuey McCluey ? No, Not Shit McCluey ! Not even Pale White !

That has been Punter's problem. India rewards risk-taking and enterprise
in every sense, not just on the field, but Punter has tried to hide
behind the scrooginess of his safe options. He's devised the negative
tactic of operating "choking" bowlers with deep fields in place, and the
Indians have exploited the contradiction that is hidden therein. That's
not the way to win matches, that is how you try to save matches. For all
the 9,999 uses of "Attack" by the team's loudspeakers, it is nothing but
Defence. Ponting has tried to defend the team's glorious record in the
past, he has tried to defend the reputation of his best buds and
ultimately he has tried to save his own ass. Not for him to take the
game by the scruff of the neck and give it a good shake down. He's happy
to tan in the suns of India, telling himself it's not his fault.

It IS his fault, and for that he deserves a kick in the nuts.
If he promiseth to not hug me with those hands he spits unto, I'll do
him this one favour.

November 5, 2008

Make mine a Super Special

Among other things, the 4th Test match between Ind and Aus will be VVS Laxman's 100th Test match.
So how's he done so far ?

Here's a snippet of Laxman's stats thus far sorted by match results.

Evidently his batting average shoots up in the matches India has drawn. It is nearly 20 points above his career average of 45.41runs. A conclusion that can be made is that Laxman scores heavily in dead matches.

Which would be a sham because it is a lazy conclusion ! Because, sample this:
(in Drawn matches)

Not so dead anymore, huh !! In the 2nd innings Mr. Wrists turns it on fine style. His average shoots up to the 80s. He occupies the crease longer. Looks like when the team is in dire straits - about to concede the match - our man here steps it up, and lives upto his billing of being Very Very Special.

That in itself is vindication, but since we're at it lets engage in some more Laxmania:
(by Batting position, in 2nd innings in Drawn matches)

Holy Cow !! The-Guy-Australia-Hate-To-Guts goes briefly Bradmanesque. Averages of 167 and 108 are obscene. The Boss, it seems, has on more times saved his team from humiliation when they were 5-6-7-8 down and the other Fab-4 superheroes were cooling their heels in the dressing room.

All of which means that all these 35 Drawn (out of his 99) games might not have been so DRAWN had the VVS not brought out the Super Special.

November 4, 2008

Saint KP

Saint KP

Quantum Leap

The quantum has leapt. With Anil Kumble's retirement the time for
cricket's new guard has come.

In Utseya, Ashraful, Gayle, Vettori, Jayawardene and Graeme Smith world
cricket already had a clique of young skippers strutting about. However,
the teams they lead do not form the crux of world cricket. It is India,
Australia and England who literally own cricket today, and frankly they
also play the best cricket. It would have been premature to call it a
change of guard with the senior statesmen - Kumble, Ponting and Vaughan
- still around.

Hence when Micheal Vaughan handed over the mantle to Kevin Pietersen it
felt like the start of something, like the wheels were being set into
motion. As unplanned successions tend to go, the incumbent could no
longer justify his selection and the young gun seemed an irresistible
force. Similarly, Kumble had not planned on retiring yesterday.
Circumstance and sense had forced his hand, and in Dhoni India had
simply planned ahead. And so the wheel turned. Nine of the ten test
nations are now being led by the young turks. Heady, youthful times are

Now if only Pup can pip the Punter, we can all toast the charge of the
youth brigade.